Saturday, May 10, 2014
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Why Having Four Kids Is Easier Than You Think
I've been thinking about this off and on for the past couple of weeks, ever since a neighbor asked me how I do it with four kids (he and his wife had their first baby about six months ago). Put on the spot, I laughingly said we take it one day at a time. Which is true, but having mulled over it a bit more, I would answer differently next time. I think most people think that having four kids is four times the work of one, which makes it seem absolutely overwhelming. And that's just not true.
I understand this feeling, because I had those same thoughts when I had my first baby. Benjamin took up all my time, and I honestly wondered how on earth people took care of a toddler and a baby when just a baby took all my time. But then I had a toddler and a baby, and while it was a bit of a learning curve, I adjusted and it all worked out.
I will say that, at least in my experience, the transition from 0 to 1, and then from 1 to 2 kids are the hardest transitions. With the first baby, everything's new, you don't know what you're doing, and your life has changed. It can be a big adjustment. Then when you have another baby, you're a little more comfortable with taking care of a baby, but figuring out how to juggle the needs of two children can be really challenging, and all of a sudden everything seems so much harder than it did when you had just one. And it is. But then, once you have those two things down, adding another baby is not nearly as big of an adjustment. Not that you don't have to adjust at all, but it just seems so much easier. In my opinion, I think this could be one reason people often don't have more than two kids. They think having another will be even harder than the first two, and I just don't think that's often the case. In fact, I think many people miss out on the pleasure of having a baby without some of the stress the first two can bring!
Overall, I really don't think having four kids is any harder than having one. If you think about it, most of the things you would do with four kids you already do with one - make meals, do laundry, go grocery shopping, clean the house. Now, I might make more food and do more laundry, but since I'm already doing those things, it's just a bit more work, not four times more work.
And babies grow up. I'm not taking care of four babies, I'm taking care of one baby, plus three older kids who can do a lot of things for themselves. The three older kids can (mostly) dress and feed themselves and (usually) take care of their bathroom needs.
Then there's the entertainment factor. Benjamin wasn't an only child for very long, but while he was, it was ALL ME. If he was bored, it was up to me to entertain him, or at least find him something to do. With four kids, they entertain each other. There's always someone to play with, someone to think of something to do - for good or bad! =) If Toby cries, there's not just one, but many people to bring him toys, make him laugh, etc.
And, as they say, "many hands make light work." I don't have to do everything. My kids might still be young, but they are old enough now to be genuinely helpful. They clean up their toys, take care of their clean and dirty laundry, empty the dishwasher, set the table, and help me with other things as I need it. Just the other day, when we were out and about, Toby was fussy in the car because he was getting hungry. If he had been my only child, I couldn't have done anything about it. But I was able to hand Benjamin a bag of Cheerios (actually, Joe's Os!), who gave them to Toby one at a time, which was enough to pacify him until we could get home. Not only did that make Toby happy, but it was also less stressful for me, since I didn't have to drive home with a crying baby in the backseat.
My answer to my neighbor's question was true - we do take it one day at a time. We have good days and bad days. Sometimes all four children need something at the very same time and it can be overwhelming. Sometimes there is bickering and bad attitudes and whining and I want to send everyone to bed at 11:00 in the morning. Sometimes (okay, always!) it takes us FOREVER to get ready to go somewhere. But then there are the small arms clasped tightly around my neck and the story time snuggles and the toothless baby grins. There are the bible stories at dinner and the requests to pray at bedtime. There is the endless excitement over chickens and ferry rides and playing in the backyard. There is the talking and laughter at dinner and the full minivan and the family walks in the evening. There is the stampede and chorus of "Good morning, Mom!" when their clock turns yellow in the morning. There is the curiosity and the imagination. There is the love.
I'll be honest and say that having four children can be challenging. But I don't think it's the having four part that is challenging, it's the having children part that's challenging. And that's the same whether it's one, four, or twenty. And while it may be work; exhausting, stressful, difficult work at times, the fun and the joy and the love I receive in return make it so, so worth it.
I understand this feeling, because I had those same thoughts when I had my first baby. Benjamin took up all my time, and I honestly wondered how on earth people took care of a toddler and a baby when just a baby took all my time. But then I had a toddler and a baby, and while it was a bit of a learning curve, I adjusted and it all worked out.
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| Me with baby Benjamin |
I will say that, at least in my experience, the transition from 0 to 1, and then from 1 to 2 kids are the hardest transitions. With the first baby, everything's new, you don't know what you're doing, and your life has changed. It can be a big adjustment. Then when you have another baby, you're a little more comfortable with taking care of a baby, but figuring out how to juggle the needs of two children can be really challenging, and all of a sudden everything seems so much harder than it did when you had just one. And it is. But then, once you have those two things down, adding another baby is not nearly as big of an adjustment. Not that you don't have to adjust at all, but it just seems so much easier. In my opinion, I think this could be one reason people often don't have more than two kids. They think having another will be even harder than the first two, and I just don't think that's often the case. In fact, I think many people miss out on the pleasure of having a baby without some of the stress the first two can bring!
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| Our family of four |
Overall, I really don't think having four kids is any harder than having one. If you think about it, most of the things you would do with four kids you already do with one - make meals, do laundry, go grocery shopping, clean the house. Now, I might make more food and do more laundry, but since I'm already doing those things, it's just a bit more work, not four times more work.
And babies grow up. I'm not taking care of four babies, I'm taking care of one baby, plus three older kids who can do a lot of things for themselves. The three older kids can (mostly) dress and feed themselves and (usually) take care of their bathroom needs.
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| Three kids under three |
Then there's the entertainment factor. Benjamin wasn't an only child for very long, but while he was, it was ALL ME. If he was bored, it was up to me to entertain him, or at least find him something to do. With four kids, they entertain each other. There's always someone to play with, someone to think of something to do - for good or bad! =) If Toby cries, there's not just one, but many people to bring him toys, make him laugh, etc.
And, as they say, "many hands make light work." I don't have to do everything. My kids might still be young, but they are old enough now to be genuinely helpful. They clean up their toys, take care of their clean and dirty laundry, empty the dishwasher, set the table, and help me with other things as I need it. Just the other day, when we were out and about, Toby was fussy in the car because he was getting hungry. If he had been my only child, I couldn't have done anything about it. But I was able to hand Benjamin a bag of Cheerios (actually, Joe's Os!), who gave them to Toby one at a time, which was enough to pacify him until we could get home. Not only did that make Toby happy, but it was also less stressful for me, since I didn't have to drive home with a crying baby in the backseat.
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| FOUR kids! =) |
My answer to my neighbor's question was true - we do take it one day at a time. We have good days and bad days. Sometimes all four children need something at the very same time and it can be overwhelming. Sometimes there is bickering and bad attitudes and whining and I want to send everyone to bed at 11:00 in the morning. Sometimes (okay, always!) it takes us FOREVER to get ready to go somewhere. But then there are the small arms clasped tightly around my neck and the story time snuggles and the toothless baby grins. There are the bible stories at dinner and the requests to pray at bedtime. There is the endless excitement over chickens and ferry rides and playing in the backyard. There is the talking and laughter at dinner and the full minivan and the family walks in the evening. There is the stampede and chorus of "Good morning, Mom!" when their clock turns yellow in the morning. There is the curiosity and the imagination. There is the love.
I'll be honest and say that having four children can be challenging. But I don't think it's the having four part that is challenging, it's the having children part that's challenging. And that's the same whether it's one, four, or twenty. And while it may be work; exhausting, stressful, difficult work at times, the fun and the joy and the love I receive in return make it so, so worth it.
Friday, April 11, 2014
On the Urban Homestead...
...we have chickens!
Let me introduce you to:
The older kids each named one of them. =)
Having chickens is so exciting to me! I have wanted to get some for a long time, and we are having lots of fun with them! We got our chicks at about two weeks old, and they are absolutely adorable! In just a week, they have grown a lot. They really all do have their own personalities, which is so fun! Sally is the bossy one, and also the most aloof, while Emily is really friendly and doesn't mind being held, unlike the other two. They really like doing everything together. If one of them starts eating food, the rest of them do, too. Cleaning and refilling their water dish just takes a couple of minutes, but when I put it back, they all rush over and start drinking like they haven't had any water all day. It's so cute!
So far the work has been very minimal. The most time consuming job was cleaning out their water dish, which I was having to do quite a few times a day because they kept filling it up with pine shavings when they would scratch in the litter. But then I got smart and raised the dish up a bit on a brick, and now it stays clean for most of the day.
We'll have to keep them inside for about five more weeks, during which time we need to build a coop and run outside. Then, hopefully sometime this fall, we'll have eggs! I can't wait!
Let me introduce you to:
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| L-R: Sally (Ameraucana), Emily (Rhode Island Red), and Madeline (Buff Orpington) |
The older kids each named one of them. =)
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| The food and water dishes use mason jars! Just my style! =) |
Having chickens is so exciting to me! I have wanted to get some for a long time, and we are having lots of fun with them! We got our chicks at about two weeks old, and they are absolutely adorable! In just a week, they have grown a lot. They really all do have their own personalities, which is so fun! Sally is the bossy one, and also the most aloof, while Emily is really friendly and doesn't mind being held, unlike the other two. They really like doing everything together. If one of them starts eating food, the rest of them do, too. Cleaning and refilling their water dish just takes a couple of minutes, but when I put it back, they all rush over and start drinking like they haven't had any water all day. It's so cute!
So far the work has been very minimal. The most time consuming job was cleaning out their water dish, which I was having to do quite a few times a day because they kept filling it up with pine shavings when they would scratch in the litter. But then I got smart and raised the dish up a bit on a brick, and now it stays clean for most of the day.
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| The chickens love to sit on top of the jars. Sometimes they fight over the spot! |
We'll have to keep them inside for about five more weeks, during which time we need to build a coop and run outside. Then, hopefully sometime this fall, we'll have eggs! I can't wait!
He Did It!
Seth was gone for two weeks in March on his LAST school trip. At the end, he graduated, so he now has his MFA in Creative Writing! It's been a long AND fast 2 1/2 years, a lot of hard work, and I am a bit relieved that he's done. But I am so proud of Seth for pursuing his dreams and for doing the hard work to make it happen.
This trip was the longest he's taken, since he did a bit of road-tripping with a couple of his school friends before the actual residency began, and it was a LONG two weeks. We did get to join him for a day in the middle of it, which was fun, and we also joined him for graduation day. Seth got to graduate with most of the really good friends he made in school, and I got to meet a couple of their wives, which was really fun! It was so nice to talk to other wives of students!
We're not quite sure what's next on the agenda. It is definitely a bit weird to think of Seth not being in school, especially when I think about the fact that's he's been in school since Ezra was born, and that's really all the kids know. But it will be fun to see what the Lord opens up for us!
This trip was the longest he's taken, since he did a bit of road-tripping with a couple of his school friends before the actual residency began, and it was a LONG two weeks. We did get to join him for a day in the middle of it, which was fun, and we also joined him for graduation day. Seth got to graduate with most of the really good friends he made in school, and I got to meet a couple of their wives, which was really fun! It was so nice to talk to other wives of students!
We're not quite sure what's next on the agenda. It is definitely a bit weird to think of Seth not being in school, especially when I think about the fact that's he's been in school since Ezra was born, and that's really all the kids know. But it will be fun to see what the Lord opens up for us!
Saturday, March 15, 2014
The Days are Short...
People say that when you have little kids "the days are long, but the years are short". Sometimes I agree with that, but mostly I just think the days are short, too. Time just flies by - I can't believe we are already almost a quarter of the way into the "new" year. Here's a peek at what we've been up to in the last month:
This little lady turned FOUR on Valentine's Day. It is such a joy to have a little girl!
Her main gift from us was a mommy-made bathing suit. I haven't done a whole lot of sewing with knits, so I was a bit nervous, but it turned out to be super quick and easy! I do wish I had made it a bit bigger, but it should be fine for this summer.
And somehow this guy is now 7 months old!
And doing big boy things like sitting up (finally! - he's later than all my others with this)...
...and eating real food (but mostly only when he can do it himself - which is perfectly fine with my
not-a-fan-of-baby-food-feeding self)!
I haven't had a need to do much personal sewing lately, so I was more than happy to come up with a bath caddy solution for our new bathtub! I got the basic idea from some I saw online, but I love my personalized version!
This is my favorite way to go grocery shopping with four children. These carts are an absolute pain to maneuver around the store, but the sanity-saving perk of having everyone immobilized more than makes up for it! Not surprising, it makes for a much more peaceful shopping experience than, say, having three kids pushing little carts around a tiny Trader Joe's. =)
We've had a few sunny days, and we've taken advantage of them! I can't wait to have my laundry drying outside full time! I am very thankful for my big Ikea drying racks, but I love how quickly everything dries outside - and I love having the extra space inside!
In bathroom news, we (they) are still plugging away at all the finishing stuff that needs doing. One of the most exciting things to me, though, about the whole remodel, is that we now have a real, stand-alone bathroom. Our bedroom was only accessible through the bathroom, which is not the most desirable setup. Thankfully, the bathroom was arranged in such a way that we were able to build a new wall and move the door, so now we have a little "hallway" that both the bathroom and bedroom open from. I am absolutely loving this!
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| The white doorway in the foreground was where the bathroom door used to be. The right door leads to our bedroom. |
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| The new wall was built on the other side of our bedroom door, just moving the bathroom door back a few feet. |
Happy Spring!!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
In other news...
Life moves on, with or without a shower, and this little man turned six months yesterday!
He is such a joy - he is just the happiest baby, and so sweet! He recently discovered how much fun a tongue can be! =) Everyone just adores him, and he loves them, too! He loves his toys, but he can't wait to be a bit more active - he gets bored easily these days.
Seth saved all of his Legos, and we now have lots of them at our house. As much as I love Legos, I can only handle having a limited amount available on a regular basis (at least until the kids are better at cleaning up!), but occasionally Seth will have a "Lego Day" with the kids and they make a royal mess and have a grand time!
We had another snow day and Toby enjoyed his first sled ride!
He is such a joy - he is just the happiest baby, and so sweet! He recently discovered how much fun a tongue can be! =) Everyone just adores him, and he loves them, too! He loves his toys, but he can't wait to be a bit more active - he gets bored easily these days.
Seth saved all of his Legos, and we now have lots of them at our house. As much as I love Legos, I can only handle having a limited amount available on a regular basis (at least until the kids are better at cleaning up!), but occasionally Seth will have a "Lego Day" with the kids and they make a royal mess and have a grand time!
WE HAVE WATER!!!!
After almost three months, we finally have a shower again! I can't even say how happy that makes us! Seth and his dad have been working hard, putting in long days, and they finally were able to get the shower going last night! Yay! I'd say we were almost done with the bathroom, but I know better than that now! We still have a fair amount of work to do, but it seems a lot more manageable now, with a working toilet and shower. No more hair washing in the sink, no more filling and emptying gallons of water to flush the toilet; thank goodness! I had no idea going in to this what a big deal it (and every little detail) would be! We've been "almost there" with the shower for a month, and every little thing just takes so much longer than it seems like it should. Nothing seems to work the way it is supposed to; everything needs adjusting to work right, and if I had a dollar for every trip to the hardware store... =) It will be worth it in the end, though, it's starting to look so cute! I love the gray, especially with the white fixtures! The bathroom has kind of been our life for the past few months, but hopefully having these major things done will help things start to feel a little more normal now!
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| Finished with the wallboard... |
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| Fresh paint...looking more like a real room! |
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| Flooring! And a real toilet again! |
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| How it looks right now - the sink isn't hooked up all the way, but everything else works! And I've been able to move some things back in - out of our bedroom! |
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